The Big Two-Oh

Now that I’ve turned two decades young, I need to make a list of what to do before I turn 30. Here it is:

1. Get my Honours and Masters
2. Go to New York, meet Alicia Keys and Lady GaGa, and get a seat at New York Fashion Week
3. Direct 5 short films (ideally one film every two years)
4. Tour Europe
5. Attend Cannes Film Festival
6. Attend and submit a film to Sundance
7. One feature film
8. Go for Umrah

If you may have noticed, I left out one thing that should be done before I turn 30. But I’m leaving that out for now. I’m a girl on a mission.

A Funeral, A Film Festival and Faith

Last Sunday, my mother decided that we all visit her eldest brother, Obek Mail, over at Bukit Panjang. She insisted that we all come along, including my eldest sister, her husband and their kids. I was tired that day and decided not to follow them despite already being in the car with them. Just before my brother-in-law turned into the street to send me home, I changed my mind and went ahead to visit Obek.

Then last Thursday, I woke up at 5 in the morning, to my mum’s sobbing. Obek Mail passed away.

From Him we come, to Him to return.

It strike me how short life can be. Just four days ago, I was at his house, talking to him and asking my aunt how’s the progress of his health have been. Here’s the thing; Obek Mail was suffering from renal failure (though I am not sure what is renal – kidney or intestine??) and has been on medication for the past half a year, and steroids had him all bloated up. He looked just like my late Atok. Obek Mail left behind a widow and two young children, 12 and 8.

I didn’t realise how vulnerable we are until I was at the funeral. Three years ago, my uncle from my dad’s side passed away and I recalled confiding in a friend whom I no longer keep in contact with. What would happen if I die tomorrow? Would I be able to die peacefully without renewing ties with him? Would he forgive me? Would he remember me, even?

The night of that same day, I went to The Substation for a screening of the Singapore Short Film Awards. Baju, Certain Chapters and a la folie were screened. The films were related through their themes of love, hate and passion. Mat Reps fighting with each other naked in the toilet to regain their honour and pride; an Indian gangster (do you guys have nicknames for them?) who lost his father at a young age seeking for a sense of belonging; and a girl who can’t forget her first love. Aren’t these the things you do in every lifetime?

Then it hit me. I don’t have to do those in my lifetime, because I have my faith. And faith keeps me motivated and strong each and every day. I don’t wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy, but I am contented. I am contented with the life God has provided me with and the friends who surround me. I do not need to live a life that others have for me to be contented.

I just need a little faith.

SMFS: Santau Media Conference

Stepping into Eng Wah Suntec, little was made known of the presence of 5 individuals who were responsible for the making of a box-office hit across the causeway. No red carpets, no paparazzi – just roaring laughter of students clad in school uniforms.

The main cast and crew of Santau (Whispers of the Devil) drove all the way from Kuala Lumpur to attend the premiere and media conference held at Eng Wah Suntec last Monday evening. Neither of them showed any signs of fatigue, or restlessness. In fact, they looked more than ready to answer queries by the young journalists of Obor from Berita Harian. Zul Handy Black, who plays the character of Man, even sang for the young crowd upon finding out his past musical career.

Ain interviewing Zul Handy Black

Meeting the cast – Esma Daniel (Halim), Putri Mardiana (Nina) and Zul (Man) – was a fruitful experience for me. Though I may not be an avid follower of Malaysian drama serials, I could recognize their faces having seen them on television. Esma, widely known as a television actor rather than a film actor, appeared to be a little bit nervous despite his attempts in making jokes to break the tension in the audience. Putri, who prefers to be called Nina (her nickname, not the character in Santau), was more relaxed and calm.

Esma Daniel looking all excited.

I must admit, I was a bit skeptical of Santau, after bad experiences with Jangan Pandang Belakang, Congkak, Jangan Tegur and Jangan Pandang Belakang Congkak – all by the Metrowealth International Group (MIG). I thought it was going to be “just another Malay horror flick”. That was when producer David Teo begs to differ. “Santau is not ‘just another horror flick’! By the end of the movie, you will cry. It will make a husband love his wife more and a boyfriend treat his girlfriend better. This film has soul!” – something of which you will be able to find out when you watch the movie for yourself.

Putri Mardiana looking sleek with her fedora and charming personality.

One thing I didn’t look forward to was listening to the stories the cast and crew went through during shooting. The tales of spirits lingering around the location, being hidden in the toilet and Esma being ‘possessed’ in front of the camera – they were all surreal to me. I refused to believe them – just so I could make it home alone without constantly looking behind my back. (Haha get it? Jangan pandang belakang!) Yet, knowing where my ancestral roots are, I have to admit their stories are as real as this blog entry. My grandfather was a medicine man, and he did have his fair share of friends from the other world. I wouldn’t be surprised if what happened to them on set were true.

Anyways, the part when Esma was possessed onscreen? Yeah they put it up. I wouldn’t spoil it for you but if one of the scenes look real enough, then that’s the one.

Mr MIG Davi Teo and myself

Moving on, I was more interested in the director, Azhari Zain, actually. Having been trained in film in an Australian university, he was very fluent in English, to my surprise. However, Zack, as he prefers to be known as, was even more shocked when David Teo approached him to direct Santau. After all, he was one of the newer directors in the Malaysian film scene. I must admit, though, he did carry a weight on his shoulders as the director. Horror flicks from Malaysian are infamous with the whole I-am-possessed-help-me themes. And I was a little bit skeptical before I attended the press conference. Upon hearing his background and his fluency in English, I was a little bit more hopeful.

The director himself.

Wrapping up, David Teo mentioned that reporters in Malaysia loved the film – even the worst critics gave their best comments. I am doubtful, even more so after saying, “In ten years time, Santau will be the best film Malaysia has ever produced!”

From left: Nina, Azhari Zain and David Teo

We shall see, aye?

SMFS Crew (from left): Art, Me, Kartini, Yassar, Saiful and Isnor

RFTH: Grilled Rosemary Chicken

My futile attempts at food photography and basic editing.

I’ve been watching what I eat since the year started. Well, since it is my new year’s resolution. So I had this just now for dinner. I did add a cup of rice, though, cause I’m Malay and Malays need rice! Haha. It’s a VERY simple recipe. Fool proof and great for amateur cooks!

Ingredients:

1 piece of chicken breast

1 tspn dried rosemary

salt and pepper

Rub the ingredients together with the chicken. Marinate for at least 2 hours to allow the flavour to seep through the chicken. Grill on both sides, each at 8 minutes.

Tip: do not over-grill cause the chicken will be too dry. Also, add oil if you want but I’m going healthy so no oil for me!

The ‘Allah’ Issue

I woke up one day last week, to a front page news about attacks being made upon churches in Malaysia – Kuala Lumpur (KL) in particular.

It shocked me. KL is a mere 3-hour car ride away from Singapore, and being there over the last week of December scared me to bits. It brought upon me the reality of such racial and religious tensions to quiet, peaceful Singapore. On top of that, my mother and I were stuck in the middle of the 1st August riots near Masjid India in KL. Our shopping trip turned into a looking-for-shelter-tissue-paper trip because of the tear gas sprayed on civilians.

Yes. I experience tear gas. I hope for the first and last time. Although I do admit that the excitement was one that I could never get in Singapore, I mean, rioting and running away from water vapour that burned your eyes, it’s all very exciting -

I digress.

It’s just that I could never imagine being so far yet so near to chaos. Attacks on churches in Malaysia and then you have Indonesians telling Malaysians not to ‘copy’ from them. The attacks being emulated in Malaysia shows how vulnerable anyone is to attacks in other countries. Nau’zubillah, I hope it won’t happen in Singapore. Racial and religious tension here in my lion city is the last thing I would ever want to encounter. Next thing you know, it’s against the law to fall in love with someone of a different religion, which I have been guilty of -

ANYWAYS. My take on the ‘Allah’ issue? It’s not an issue. It is a misconstrued idea that only Muslims are allowed to use the word ‘Allah’. I know Islamic clerics may disagree with me, or rather, I disagree with their opinions, but to me, anyone can say and use the word ‘Allah’.

Firstly, based on my humble knowledge of my own faith, Islam; the people of the book are those who believe in the revelations in Christianity, Judaism and Islam. We believe that we are all Ahli Sunnah Wal-Jamaah – People of the Book. We come from the same source, Allah, who in turn send to us messengers (Moses, Jesus and Muhammad) to preach the same religion. However, due to miscommunication and misconstrued ideas between the first two messengers (Jesus and Moses) and the people, a different religion surfaced altogether. Both Moses and Muhammad appear in the Holy Bible, and Muslims are allowed to eat Kosher food when Halal food is unavailable. If we share the same source of power, that is Allah, why can’t we all use his name?

Secondly, if all three religions I’ve mentioned came from the same source, it means they also share the same Holy Land – Jerusalem. Though it may now be the centre of conflict in the Palestinian issue, we cannot deny the fact that Jerusalem has a certain degree of importance to us Muslims, and you Christians and Jews. Now if we once shared a Holy Land, there must be some way to communicate with one another right? And how else to do that but to communicate in Arabic? Allah is ‘God’ in Arabic. A Korean singer was overheard during a radio interview with an Arabic radio station saying ‘inshallah’ – God-willing. So technically, anyone can say ‘Allah’, right?

I’m no expert at this, I must admit. But from my understanding as a soon to be 20-year-old undergrad, the reasons above are my views on the ‘chaos’ in Malaysia. Why people are attacking churches and Sikh temples (???????WTF??????) I have no idea. It is a sin to attack places of worship, even in times of war. I just pray that the attacks stop and that the attackers realise that their actions mean nothing.

I’m just wondering, though, what the Late Yasmin Ahmad would think of these attacks. I’m just glad it didn’t happen when she was alive.

She would have been very disappointed.

I am A Ticking Time Bomb

A trip to the gym with my girlfriends yesterday has made me realise how unhealthy I have been. I am terrified. Yes. TERRIFIED.

I won’t disclose much but now I do know that 51% of my body mass is muscle. Hence it will be easier for me to lose weight. I know I did say I’ll lose a decent amount of weight before my 20th but losing 20++ kilograms in month is far beyond impossible. The body analysis at the gym got me thinking. What the hell happened after my canoeing days ended? Laziness? Gluttony? Inactivity? Then it came to me – I started cooking. And that was the end of the healthy me.

I’m signing a gym membership soon, once the girlfriends and I have decided which gym offers the best facilities and rates. I’m personally keen on a circuit training gym since it is said to burn more calories over a longer period of time. And as of today, I’ll be eating healthily. I hope to post some delicious healthy recipes to share with you guys as well.

Pray for my safety and a healthier me.

Mat-ematiks

So recently (December 2009), the Malays have been in the spotlight for scoring the worst in Mathematics, killing their kids for eating their cigarettes and for repeating the cycle of poverty they are stuck in.

I cannot not comment.

I am 100 percent Malay – paternal grandparents came from Padang, maternal grandparents came from Bawean – which makes me the second generation born in Singapore. I am proud that I do not have to boast about having Dutch, Portuguese or Arab blood (although I do admit I wished I was Arab so I can marry another Arab who would give me a life long supply of abayas). When people ask me what race I am, I tell them I am Malay.

Not Melayu.

In linguistics, ‘melayu’ would mean ‘to wither’. This would mean that ‘melayu’ has a negative connotation, of which of course I do want to have any association with. What is sad, though, this attitude of withering is what most Malays comply with. Accepting the truth about themselves which is actually opinions of other people outside the race. People say Malays are lazy, they follow. People say Malays are weak in Maths, they comply with the stereotype. Whatever people say about them, they listen.

The funny thing is that not all Malays are like that. My friends and I are Malays, but all praises be to Allah, we have managed to clinch a spot in university. We have been given the privilege of a world-class education. And don’t say we’re rich, cause we’re not. We live in typical HDB flats, own weekend cars (or none at all), scringe on every single cent and shop during bargains. And no, we do not go for tuition. We studied our asses off.

So what’s my point?

I went to a seafood restaurant aka coffee shop near my place and got over-charged. My sister and I read through the bill and I whipped out my phone to calculate the bill properly.

Sister: Eh, why did he charge us $129.40? The bill is only $75.50!

So the I called the man over to our table and asked him.

Man: Kak, you count your bill again using your phone.

So I did. Still $75.50. Sister gave him a look, he took the money reluctantly, went over to the counter and discussed something with his colleague and came back to our table with the change. I didn’t notice any calculator over at the cashier.

Man: Sorry eh kak, (dengan muke selambe nak mampos) calculator rosak ahh.. (calculator is spoilt).

I took the change, smiled and said its okay – AND BURST OUT LAUGHING.

No calculator + Mat + numbers to sum up = overly charged bill.

So perhaps it is true that Malays can’t do Mathematics. Or should I say, Mat-ematiks?

In 2010, I Promise to….

1. Go to the gym thrice weekly, of which two of the sessions will be with the BFF Izzati or any other girlfriends I can drag along
2. Save 40% of my monthly income – which is now lacking due to unemployment
3. Cook more often and bring along home cooked food to school because I just realised The Deck has a VERY unhealthy choice of halal food available
4. Spend only two hours on Facebook weekly – which I have not done thus far since its still the holidays – upon the start of the new semester
5. Not to study on the train ride to school – traveling time shall be my Quran reading sessions
6. Finish my assignments way before the deadlines
7. Study consistently and get a 3.7 CAP (and above) for the next two semesters
8. Block off Sidereel and YouTube from my Mozilla Firefox during semester time
9. Go on a shopping fast – no shopping or hauls unless my trip to US is canceled – so that I have a lot of money to shop at F21 and Old Navy
10. Get my 2B license by May 2010
11. Blog more often on SMFS (pinky swear) – includes going for First Take session whenever possible
12. Solat on time and read Quran for a minimum of 20 minutes per day
13. Mosque visits every Thursday – not just Ghufran but a variety since I haven’t been to all masjids
14. Wear more abaya or long dresses to school – bought too many of them last year hee hee

I’ve been making a lot of lists lately. And I guess this new year resolution list is realistic enough for me to comply with religiously. With that, Happy 2010!

Dreaming

I dreamt of you last night
You and me
Holding hands walking down the riverside
Singing sweet nothings
Reminiscing history

I dreamt of you last night
You and me
Under the big tree we loved
The waves singing songs of happiness

10 Reasons Why I Prefer Dating a Werewolf

1. Werewolves don’t need their mates to be werewolves. Their mates just have to keep a distance away from them when their mood fires up.
2. Werewolves are almost like normal people – they go out in the sun (in fact they love the sun!), they go cliff diving, they eat muffins, and they are hot. Like literally body temperature hot.
3. Vampires are weird loners who have pale and oily skin. Sorry hun, their skin doesn’t glow. It’s just hormones excreting excess oil from the pores. Eew?
4. Vampires have family members that hyperventilate when they see you just because your blood is so tempting for them.
5. Werewolves can repair bikes, and ride them.
6. Werewolves don’t bite people. They protect people.
7. Werewolves have hairless bodies (in human form that is) and a six-pack abs. Unlike vampires who have to be clothed all the time. What are they hiding? A third nipple??!!
8. Werewolves have a low count on cheesy and cliched lines (It’s not me, it’s you) whilst vampires have a string of cheesy lines to say to the girl they love.
9. Werewolves can double up as a pet.
10. WEREWOLVES DO NOT  LEAVE THE AUDIENCE IN A CLIFFHANGER SUSPENSE DAMMIT.

As you may have noticed, I watched New Moon. And it was not an enjoyable experience.